French connection

In 1998, you can thank Jean Marie Le Pen for that win, France won because France needed to be unified. The same story has come back to regale us. France needed this win. Soccer brings all of France together. Riots have riven French society into dangerous silos. This win will bring all of France back together. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just talent and sport that drives sport. It's not for nothing that people say sport is one of the greatest shows on earth. It's about what sport can do for TV ratings. It's about what sport can do for society. It's not just about sport. Good for France that France won the semi-final against Portugal. Portugal got what it needed from this World Cup. And so has France. What's left now is for Italy to do for Italian soccer what Rossi did for them in 1982. Rossi came through a match-fixing scandal with flying colours, and so will this Italian team. (Much like the Indian team did, when it ended Australia's dream run in cricket and made people forget the match-fixing scandal that threatened to turn cricket into a losing business proposition.) Italy will outclass France in the final. And it won't, only, be because they're a better team. Time now, for an Italian con job. Of course, not for a minute am I suggesting it's all 'managed'. Why spoil the fun? Why look for the truth, when spin is so much more fun to go with.

How the mighty have fallen

Parreira, who won the World Cup in 1994 with a much less talented squad, admitted "something" was lacking from the team on Saturday. They played, "without a tactical plan, without moves, without standards, without attack, without colour, without heat, without zeal. Without grace, without life, without happiness, without personality, without identity," wrote Fernando Calazans. "Without the Brazilian way of playing at all."

God save the Queen

"Be careful with Rooney. I don't need him, but you do." And so, with that valedictory warning, England's first and perhaps last foreign coach ended an era, supervised by himself and Beckham, in which football and celebrity became locked in a steamy but ultimately unconsummated embrace.

Zen mastered

While Henry ran off into goalscoring glory, followed by the majority of his team-mates, the old maestro smiled to himself. Patrick Vieira, his vice captain, ran over to engulf him. The legend lives on and on.

Expert's comments

Tips for budding commentators: 1) Don't start to speak for at least five seconds after a national anthem. It might not be over. 2) Never say 'There are bound to be goals in this one', unless you've backed the goalless draw. 3) Don't ask Dutch commentators for Dutch player pronunciations. They will just cover you with saliva. 4) Always have something to say over a close-up of Franz Beckenbauer. You will definitely get one. 5) Don't mention the war.

Frank Dampard

What has happened to Frank Lampard? It has been impossible to sit down at any dinner table in any World Cup city without hazarding that question. Salt and pepper pots have been rearranged to recreate tactical manoeuvres and analyse what has gone wrong, yet still no one knows the answer for certain. What has happened to the man who was runner-up to Ronaldinho for Fifa's world footballer of the year? Why is the World Cup witnessing the West Ham United player of old rather than the Chelsea player of new? Too much beer? German prostitutes? You tell us.

Spain spins sorrows

So how does it shape up here on...

Germany v Italy (SF)
Portugal v France (SF)
Brazil v England (Third / Fourth)
Italy v France (F)
Italy wins!

Not like I really care now that Spain is out, but...

Why Brazil will not win the world cup

Because when in Europe, do as the Europeans know what to do. Germany will win. Lagi bet?

Espana!

4-0 to Spain!!! I am on cloud nine!!!
Vamos Spain!

Enough said.

What Say You?

Yes, we have been missing in action haven’t we? Well we are back with a vengeance.

The FIFA World Cup kicks off in four days!!! A little surreal for some reason… in about a month some team will hold that much hyped over cup! Which team? Let us put down our predictions and then we will have evidence to claim our boasting rights.

Logically, going with bookmakers and a personal bias, it’s going to be either an Italy – Germany or Spain – Germany Finals. Either Italy or Spain is taking this baby home.

I hope Spain does. I know they haven’t done anything remarkable beyond a Quarter-final in 1950. But Chelsea winning the EPL last year was the first in my lifetime.

I have a feeling its Spain’s year!

Plus, Alonso in the Grand Priz, Nadal doing well in the Grand Slam tournaments and Barcelona winning the Champions League… perhaps it is an Espana year!

What say you?

Have you heard of Tommy Lawton?

Tommy Lawton scored 570 goals. He played for Everton becoming the youngest goalscorer and he kept the record for 70 years. Until, Wayne Rooney broke it in 2002. On the international front he has scored 22 goals for England in 23 games. He was the king of headers… nodding in his goals.
A classic was his goal against Charlton way back. His team won a corner, Lawton drifted into the penalty area. The ball came towards him, he jumped higher than any defender, made it to seem as he was hovering and shouted at the opponent goalie – “Top Corner!” Obviously not buying that, the goalie was all over the place and Lawton headed it exactly there – the top corner.

Why Brazil WILL win!

Now...below are some interesting reasons why Brazil will win..my opinion will follow after...

We first stary with second best footballer in history...(first has to be Pele)

Maradona Tips Brazil
Mon 27 Feb, 6:09 PM
RIO DE JANEIRO, February 27 (World Cup) - Argentina legend Diego Maradona believes Brazil are favourites to triumph at this summer's World Cup. The 1986 World Cup winner also insists his own nation are among the contenders, but has warned them to guard against mistakes. "Brazil are the favourites to win in Germany, because they have one of the best national teams in the world," said Maradona. "They have a great coach (Carlos Alberto Parreira) and several of the outstanding figures in world football. "It will be very difficult for the rest to beat Brazil." But Maradona also commented that it would not be a surprise if the Verdeamarelos do not clinch the title, warning: "There's no invincible teams. "The 32 nations will get to the pitch with the same goal - to win the title. "Argentina have chances, but they must not fail at key moments." Brazil will play in Group F, alongside Croatia, Australia and Japan, while Argentina line up in Group C with the Ivory Coast, Serbia & Montenegro and Holland. end

Now if you think thats just an opinion...here what mathematics says about Brazil...

Why Brazil will Win the World Cup in 2006
A short extract from “Uncertainty & Expectation – Strategies for Trading Risk”
by Gerald Ashley, published by John Wiley & Sons in April 2003.

At the time of writing this book Brazil have recently won the 2002 World Cup, which is exactly what was expected. Why, because they were the favourites? Well no actually they weren’t, in fact there were many other much more fancied teams, but all of these crashed out of the competition fairly early on. But of course Brazil were bound to win the cup; it was in the numbers. What? Well in the few weeks leading up to the competition in the Far East, somebody noticed the following little relationship:

Brazil had previously won the World Cup in 1994, and before that in 1970. If you add 1994 to 1970 you have a total of 3964.
Argentina won the World Cup last in 1986, and before that in 1978. If you add 1986 to 1978 you have a total of 3964.
Germany last won the World Cup in 1990, and before that in 1974. Yes if you add those numbers together you once again get 3964.

Now for the clever (dare one say predictive) part. Applying this formula (which has been right three times before) we can take the total of 3964, deduct 2002 for this year’s competition, and get the answer 1962. Clearly whoever were champions in 1962 would win in 2002. Well Brazil won in 1962 and of course did so again this time! Readers who wish to place an early bet on the 2006 championship will realise that by applying the same formula the winners in 2006 should be the former 1958 champions – who were, yes you guessed it Brazil!

Now...here's what the host country thinks...

Poll: Germans believe Brazil will win World Cup
AP
Friday, June 02, 2006

BERLIN, Germay (AP) - Most German fans believe Brazil - not host Germany - will win the World Cup.
Fifty-four per cent predict the Brazilians will retain the title, while only 10 per cent think Germany will lift the trophy, according to a poll released yesterday by ARD television.
The survey of 1,000 Germans, conducted Monday and Tuesday, found 21 per cent believe Germany will reach the final.
However, 14 per cent expect Germany to go out in the first round, as they did at the 2004 European Championship in Portugal.

Now this is what i think...

It's very simple...it's a national obsession and this includes its players...which is probably why the game caomes to them so naturally..
but more importantly in strike options...if it's not ronaldo..it's ronaldinho...if it's not ronaldinho...it's adriano...if it's not adriano its kaka...if it's not kaka it's robinho...

and to defend...
we have cafu,he's the most experienced player and his accolades speak for himsef - His ambition is to be the only player to have played in 4 World cup (he has already 2 winners and one finalist medal) finals.
we have roberto carlos...what can i say about him..except he is a legeand and even at 33 jose mourinho still wants him to build on team chelsea...he is the best in his position and who could forget those free kicks
we have Lucio...The Bayern defender has become the most reliable member of Brazil’s defence ensuring him a start in the first 11.
we have ...A ver good club season and some excellent performances in the gold and green shirt will ensure Juan makes the team.
and if thats not enough...just look at our back up options...Cicinho, Cris, Luisao, Daniel Alves, Gilberto, Serginho, Roque Junior...

And just to add-on to that list...to make up for those few spaces left on the midfield...here's just some of brazil's options...*drool*
Emerson - Juventus midfielder is essential to squad players. Reliable, solid and strong. Parreira trusts him.
Ze Roberto - Left sided midfielder for Bayern Munich, Parreira however prefers him in holding role in the centre
Gilberto Silva - His great form has taken Arsenal to the champions league final. Parrera seems to like what Gilberto can offer and will make the squad if not the starting 11.
Juninho Pernambucano - The world best free kick taker? May not make the starting 11 but will be in the squad to be used as a substitute for Ronaldinho and Kaka in the Brazilian attack.
Julio Baptista - Last played for Brazil in October 2005, but his versatility could enable him to find the eyes of the Coach
lets also not forget..Dida...brazil's Dada!

Now..i know most of you think...it's going to be a clash of egos's etc...but there's a clear line of heirachy/respect between the players...based on their experience...some of them have been mentors/role models to the others...also your can't forget..the coach - Carlos Alberto Parreira ... the one of only two coaches that has led four country's teams to the World Cup: Kuwait in 1982, United Arab Emirates in 1990, Brazil in 1994, and Saudi Arabia in 1998.

So all i can say to the critics out here ...is get real... if it were just down to battle of the egos .. than england would be down in doldrums...so lets just all concede to the fact that Brazil is the 2006 FIFA World Cup's reality!

Why women should be paid more

The current thinking is that the men and women who play the game should be paid the same amount of prize money. The women say it's time the inequality in levels of prize money paid out to men and women must go. They say the differential is a throwback to the bad old days. They say it reeks of the time when Billie Jean King (Miss) beat the then MCP of tennis Bobby Riggs in a battle of the sexes. But forget all that. Why were women paid less? Was it because the effort involved for women to play was less? Not really. Because, proportionately speaking, the burden of tennis on the human body is just as damaging for men and women. Women have less strength and so less takes more out of them. Men are physically stronger and so they can exert more. Does that mean men should be paid more? I think the question is best answered if one looks at which is more popular: Men's tennis or women's tennis. If women's tennis makes more money, then the women should be paid more. Sport today, more than ever, is driven by economics and sponsorship. What the actors get paid is a function of how much the game they're playing is making. So, should the women be paid as much as the men? If you ask me, I prefer watching women's tennis and, in my book, that's a good enough reason for them to be paid, not just as much, but more.

Quoterie # 20

"It really surprises me - you are so consistent and I'm not" Sachin Tendulkar, on his 33rd birthday, thanks mediapersons for their unwavering love and affection. Such candour, such disarming innocence and yet he wonders why we so love him. (Sniff.)

No comment

From Spin Punch by Dilip Doshi: The Indian team, he says, had a "one-track obsession" with money that he found `quite disgusting'. The BCCI, meanwhile, was "a government within a government, almost totally not accountable to anyone". Doshi was, in his own account, a man apart. He reports that he declined the opportunity to write a newspaper column because it would `bring out into the open what were essentially confidences'; he thought throughout his career that advertising and endorsements were "totally out of hand". He even recalls a team meeting before the first one-day international in India where the conversation was entirely devoted to sponsorship, prize money, logo royalties and match fees: "Cricket was discussed only as an afterthought".

Quoterie # 18

"Frankly, I don't think they can demand for us to kick the ball out because there was no free-kick and the action goes on until the ball goes out" Arsene Wenger after Arsenal scored from a throw-in that should have been returned to Sheffield United in the 2003 FA Cup semi-final. Which is very different, you see.

Quoterie # 17

"It is whether you think something is fair or unfair. You expect to get the ball back there. If that's the way they want to behave, then that is their responsibility, but I don't agree with that. I don't agree with it and if football goes that way it becomes very petty" Arsene Wenger vents his spleen after Spurs scored while Gilberto Silva and Emmanuel Eboue were untangling themselves after a collision during the north London derby on Saturday.

Lagi bet # 3

India will lose to the Windies in the ODIs and win the test series. Go ahead, place your bets. Just make sure you do while the match fixing committee is looking the other way, which is most of the time.

Quoterie # 14

"There's only one possibility (to continue as coach). You have to be world champion. I have never seen a coach fail to win the World Cup and stay on here in Brazil." Coach Carlos Alberto Parreira putting more pressure on himself before the 2006 world cup. As if being coach of the Brazillian soccer team isn't pressure enough.

Ranking does not matter!

Then why have rankings? How can rankings not matter? If rankings do not matter, why play professionally? If rankings do not matter, don't tell me we excel for the sake of excellence. Actually, excellence, probably, does not matter. Only ranking does. Thanks to rankings, there is an attempt to work towards excellence. Without rankings, there would be no incentive to excel. Therefore Mr. Dhoni, rankings do matter. They better matter. Because when something doesn't matter, it's that much easier to not see it going to your head.

Not again

Another Tim Henman Wimbledon is coming, if you can bear it - another "C'mon Tim" fortnight in which the strawberries and cream will turn into the custard pies of disappointment and jokes well before the end. Kevin Mitchell in conversation with the man.

Quoterie # 13

"This is ridiculous!" A dizzy Gillespie's says it like it is when asked for reaction after he scored a double hundred.

Quoterie # 11

"We looked up at the dressing room stairs and there was Kyle Mills. He was coming in to be a new-ball watchman, or something like that." Dale Steyn's take on New Zealand's tactic to promote Kyle Mills to No 3 in the last innings of the first Test at Centurion. Mills lasted all of two balls.

Lawrence's Booth

A bad ghost-writer is like a bad umpire or a bad wicket-keeper: you only notice him when he starts to drop a few clangers. (Hell, theSpin has been getting away with it for years - bawling a few drunken thoughts down the phone from the local boozer on a Monday evening and hoping one of its many PAs manages to turn them overnight into coherent English.) Which is why one of the many joys of touring India was the daily dose in the local papers of Graham Gooch. Or, to be more accurate, "Graham Gooch". No day was complete with "Goochie's" latest take on the one-day series, or the predicament of Virender Sehwag and Mohammad Kaif, or even life and the known universe itself. The Spin has emerged a wiser cricket email."

I understand England doesn't want to be conservative or orthodox and wants to unravel the mysteries of one-day cricket with aggression and flair," wrote "Gooch" after England lost the first one-day game atDelhi, immediately causing two generations of Essex cricketers to wonder what their man had been on and whether they could have some please. "England were blown away like a ramshackle hut in a gale," he added, conjuring up images of one of his more effusive team-talks on a wet Wednesday at Chelmsford. Presumably "Gooch" was a little miffed after England went 4-0 down at Cochin? " It is tough to avoid being repetitive," he opined, "for England yet again walked the same filthy path and met the same wretched fate."

As the Spin imagined Gooch reclining on a chaise-longue, with cigarillo in one hand, brandy in the other, and nubile maidens massaging his feet, he went on to capture the Sehwag problem in a nutshell. Most of us had imagined Sehwag had simply been struggling to locate his off-stump. But "Gooch" had spotted something more troubling. "His initial bravado has given way to scepticism," he explained. "Sehwag in repose at the crease has resembled a cat ready to pounce on anything which comes his way. A cobra in coil, a panther on haunches, a falcon in that strategic patrolling of the sky." So that was it! Had Sehwag remembered all the animal impressions he used to do while the bowler was running in, he would have taken England to the cleaners! Sometimes, you really do need to be an ex-pro to notice these things.

And that's the final word with much love and vituperation from our dear dear friend Lawrence Booth of The Guardian.

Quoterie # 10

"Thank you for flying with Virgin. I gather some of you enjoyed the trip more than others" - But who could the pilot of flight number VS135 from Mumbai to Heathrow have been referring to?

The Spin

A couple of predictions for you: England to beat Sri Lanka 2-0 in the Tests and 4-1 in the one-day series; and to draw one-Test all with Pakistan, before losing 3-2 in the one-dayers. Don't all rush to the bookies at once.

Quoterie # 9

"Cricket has become very fond of the fashionable word 'stakeholder'. I occasionally get communications from official bodies addressed to me that way. One might swank about this, but I suspect my stakeholding is analogous to that of a woman with one share turning up at the Marks & Spencer AGM to moan about the knickers being frumpy." Matthew Engel writing in the new Wisden Cricketers' Almanack

Quoterie # 8

"By giving Ramesh Powar consecutive games, India have found that here's a guy who has a heart as big as his waist, and loves to play in a tense situation." Former Indian captain Sunil Gavaskar puts things in perspective

Mr. Gavaskar and his crap

What can you say about a man who wasn't exactly known to be generous or charitable or understanding or anything he's so righteously expecting the players of this day and age to be? The less said about this 'clarion call' for patriotism the better. The game is, even, more professional now than it ever was. And Mr. Sunny Gavaskar, the ruthless professional should be the first to know. Such double standards and double talk, really just gets to us. Still, I shall charitably, kindly and patriotically allow you to draw your own conclusions. Over to the Master.

I'm Greg

They all sat around waiting for the powers-that-be to decide their fate. And then, one of them spoke. He said "I'm Greg." And then, another one got up and said "I'm Greg." And then, another one got up and said "I'm Greg." One by one, all the good men in the room got up and said "I'm Greg." And then, they said it together "We're the new Team India. We're under, around and firmly behind our leader, the one and only Coach Extraordinnaire and Emeritus rolled into one, Greg Sir Chappell. Heil Hitler. (And there will be positively no whistling in the room.) In the face of such team spirit and an inspiringly brave front, the Ganguly-Dalmiya front stood no chance of breaking the chakravhyu Dadaji finds himself in.

More bluster from the Master

He's honed the art of pre-match talk to a fine, fine game. From the man who worked with the Master of match-fixing or, maybe, from the man who mastered the art of match-fixing comes this piece of pre-match drivel being passed off as tactical talk. It's just anoher tamasha yaar. So let's all try and have some fun, can we? Let's not bore the people who've come for an entertainment show with serious talk about how deeply scarred the losers of this 'desert jamboree' might be. The fact is, two matches in the middle of summer in a cricketing outpost like Abu Dhabi do not matter, will not matter and will end up being little more than nothing a few weeks after they've been done and over with. Remember those matches played in...doesn't matter where. Do we remember? No, we don't. so, please, please Mr. Woolmer, we know you're having a great time with all this pre-match talk. Thank you for doing your bit of 'promotion'.

Tit byte

A word of advice if you're planning to watch football in Italy: buy a TV. Not just because Italian highlights shows are fronted by buxom sirens who make Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson look like smug civil servants coining it in for tickling each other's egos and peddling puns that only wastards and bankers find amusing. But also because actually going to a game could result in you being beaten up, set on fire, hurled from the top tier of a bloody big stadium or turned inside out and pushed like a human rolling pin over tracts of broken glass. Because many Italian football followers are, like illiterate Nigel Kennedy fans, into violence

Quoterie # 6

"The game could have been played and the situation could have been avoided, but the umpires made the wrong decision" - PK Deb, the vice-president of the Assam Cricket Association, transparently tries to shift the blame for the riot at Guwahati onto the umpires for refusing to allow the fifth one-day international between India and
England to be played on a waterlogged pitch.

Quoterie # 5

"If players are exciting themselves quite a few times then it's going to have an effect on their physical condition. We've done a lot of work with a few guys who were completely addicted to it - they can't let it go" - while warning of the perils of pay-per-view Bongo flicks in footballers' hotel rooms, Sporting Chance founder Tony Adams explains why you often see players holding their todgers in defensive walls.

Brazil will not win

Some might call it a crisis. Brazil, clear favourites to retain the World Cup in Germany this summer, have several key players out of form and under fire from the media. They have problems in goal, central defence, midfield and attack - and their manager is even worried about the world's best footballer, Ronaldinho, being over-played. Can they put everything right in the next two months? Amy Lawrence reports.

Why palmistry is a load of crap

Sanath Jayasuriya's Test career ended in defeat and a dislocated thumb. And while he remains eager to play at the World Cup, it's unlikely that he'll be consulting the palm reader at the Mahaweli Reach Hotel. On Monday, Jayasuriya, one of Sri Lanka's most superstitious cricketers, had sat before her wanting to know about his future, a world without Test cricket. As Charlie Austin wrote on Cricinfo, "She'd confidently predicted a successful future. But she'd not seen his tragically sad injury the following day. Needless to say, business was not swift on Tuesday night." Ouch.

When The Guardian spoke to soon...

Before the tour of South Africa, The Guardian wrote that they "won't be asking the Australian side for birth certificates, they'll want carbon dating". With Glenn McGrath missing, the other fossils haven't done too badly.

Why India loves its ODIs

Thursday was a world-record-breaking 15th successful one-day run-chase in a row - has helped the nation forget their surrender in the third Test at Mumbai. ODIs are like intoxicants; they help India forget the miserableness that is life in India.

The Hmm lounge

"It takes two people to win a game of one-day cricket. In five-day cricket, it's team against team and it takes a lot more than two people to win it." Thus spake our Dear Dear friend Mathew Hoggard

It is about the bike

Day job: Seven-times Tour de France champion
Day off: Harley-Davidson biker

'Stick a motor on it!' As a cyclist you hear it so often, bawled from passing cars as you labour up a hill, that you wonder whether the word combinations available to humanity are running out. Having spent more time speeding up hills on a bike than most of us, Lance Armstrong must have heard it more, too, and it may have got to him. Something, anyway, has to explain his passion for big motorbikes.

Armstrong's fascination with fast machines is a lifelong passion. At the age of 16 he was already earning $20,000 a year as a triathlon prodigy. The money bought his first car - a Fiat, used and red - which he used to drag-race home from his nightshift at Toys 'R' Us. Lance traded in the Fiat for a Camaro Iroc Z28 (Iroc is short for International Race of the Champions, a Nascar-like motorsport series). The Camaro went when his cycling sponsor, the owner of a bike shop in Texas, who was Lance's credit guarantor, found out about the midnight races and stripped him of his prize motor. Lance was still only 17.

Fast forward to spring 1998, when he was beginning his comeback after cancer. During the Paris-Nice race, in cold, wet conditions, he coasted to a halt at the roadside, abandoned the race and decided he would never cycle again. On the flight back to his French home in Cap Ferrat, he saw a Harley-Davidson advertisement in the in-flight magazine. The slogan was a quotation from the poem 'If I could live my life again, I'd ... ?' One of the things was, 'see more sunsets'. He tore the page out and showed it to his then wife, Kristin. 'This is what's wrong with cycling,' he said, reflecting on the ad's message. 'It's not what my life should be.'

But Armstrong didn't take the Harley-Davidson route out of professional sport, and the following year, he won the first of his seven Tours de France. Even so, the Californian motorbike manufacturer has still been part of his life. The entrance to his home in Austin, Texas, has long been guarded by two Harley Davidsons, while viewers of Discovery channel's American Chopper series will have seen the engineers of Orange County Choppers create a mean machine for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which he dutifully collected in the presence of his then significant other, Sheryl Crow.

That relationship has now been consigned to history; so too, has Armstrong's cycling career, despite intermittent comeback threats delivered to annoy the French. Now, when he's not appearing on the media as the nation's chief cancer pundit on occasions such as the death of Christopher Reeves's wife Dana, working with the Discovery Channel cycling team (of which he's part-owner), tending to the various court cases he's involved with, and generally managing the millions his career earned him, he can be seen low-riding the Texas hill country - this time, with motor attached.

Cheat smart

It is a long time ago now but the moment is seared into our hearts. Replay it. That high ball into the area, the floundering keeper, then the fist, palm, punch, call it what you will. Most call it a sporting outrage. When the ball went smirking into the net, the World Cup dreams of a nation were crushed. Nicky Campbell has more.

Direction less

Every successful captain is saying this. Pointing said it after beating the South Africans. Dravid says it after every ODI win. And we're sure more people will say it in the days to come. What? "We're heading in the right direction." All of which makes us wonder where this place they all seem to be heading is? Hmm.

Fresh Spin

If you were to compare Tony Greig to a flower - a pastime which the Spin can confirm helps while away the hours spent in Indian airports - then shrinking violet would not be top of the list. A dangerous liaison with Kerry Packer; the running-out of Alvin Kallicharran at Port of Spain in 1973-74 as the batsman headed off to the pavilion following the last ball of the day; the promise to make West Indies "grovel" in 1976 (England lost 3-0); and any number of ear-splitting announcements that the batsman has hit the ball for six seconds before he is caught on the boundary. Yes, pansy would not quite do the job either.

So the Spin was surprised to hear Greig complaining about the ferocity of Australia's sledging during their second-Test win over South Africa at Durban recently. "I have never $*&!GBP@# heard anything like it," he said, give or take a few asterisks and ampersands, at a formal lunch in Johannesburg. "We turned that stump mic up and we could hear every word out in the centre and it was unbelievable. It really was absolutely unbelievable. The Aussies love it."

While the Spin wondered whether Greig, a notorious Aussie-baiter who likes nothing better than to wind up his co-commentator Bill Lawry, had been listening when Andre Nel got stuck into Adam Gilchrist because Gilchrist was taking him to the cleaners, Greig continued: "The whole thing is getting out of hand. The time has seriously come for the authorities in the game to start to rethink the question of what players are allowed to say on the field." Just imagine! Five penalty runs added to the opposition's score for the f-word, 10 for the c-word, and runs added to your own team's total if you are overheard complimenting a fine stroke or a capital piece of fielding, sir.

There is little question that this will catch on in Australia, even if Mike Hussey reacted to Greig's comments by complaining the stump mikes should never have been turned up in the first place. "It is difficult, because you do get emotional on the field and there are going to be things said and done," he said with an almost audible wink. "Some things certainly aren't appropriate for young listeners."
Whether he was referring to Greig's commentary is another matter. With love from our Dear, dear friend Lawrence 'Very funny' Booth.

Quoterie # 4

"Sometimes people just need disciplining" - Faridabad's district commissioner defends the strong-arm tactics of the local police after a seven-year-old girl is admitted to hospital following scuffles outside the Nawar Singh Stadium during the second one-day international between India and England.

Can Openers?

During the second ODI, Javagal Srinath had an interesting statistic to share with fellow commentator, Ian Botham. In the last 5 series, India has gone in with 8 (or was it 9?) different opening combinations.

In the latest spin on this situation, Gambhir finds himself out in cold, while the welcome mat is being laid out for young Robin Utthappa. The lad has been an attacking and moderately consistent No.1 for the Karnataka Ranji side. It seems like eons ago that he used to be ushered in to play with us big boys in long gone club clashes, as he is now one of the big boys himself(other than India under-19 appearances he also cracked that 93 for India B in the last challenger series).

Nothing replaces hard performance and as Gambhir painfully dissects each miss-timed shot and every poke at the corridor of uncertainty, this fact must be glaringly obvious. I can only wonder why Sehwag has been retained, despite his overtly generous ploy of gifting the opposition his wicket, time after time, in an agonisingly similar fashion. Perhaps Tendulkar's absence has played a large part in this; perhaps the Chappell-Dravid syndicate refuses to let go of the Sultan of Multan based on pure potential and the proverbial 'what if'. We can only speculate while accepting that he has had plenty of starts but few conversions. Like them, and a billion other Indians, I would love to see the marauder thrash Freddie and co., with characteristic impunity.

Another surprise has been persisting with Kaif, his phenomenal fielding nonwithstanding. Even Dravid has rubbished rumours that the pigeon toed right hander is woefully out of form. The numbers, when crunched, reveal a different story. In his last 15 ODIs, he has managed 224 runs at an unimpressive 25 (far below his career 33) with a lone half century against New Zealand and his last 7 scores read like a telephone number (8,5,0,0,4,0,0). I'm just baffled that batsmen like Venugopal Rao(also a brilliant fielder and part time offie) are carrying drinks, while Kaif gets repeated nods and consecutive ducks. Give them both a break.

The pace bowling and wicket-keeping departments, once India's bone of contention have matured nicely, brimming with a talented pool to chose from. Add Dravid, Yuvraj and Raina to the party and you've got an enviable one day force. Provided of course, the 'perform or else' dictum holds good for all, in equal measures.

Americans are better at handjobs

Millions of children grow up in America playing football. But they all give up by the age of 10. Award-winning writer Dave Eggers explains just why his country will never understand the sport they insist on calling soccer.

Drogbawl

Clearly Drogba seems to spending way too much time with Jose Mourinho. Allow me to point you in the direction of someone who'll tell you why in his own inimitable style. Check out Paul Wilson's take on the Drogbawl.

Welcome back Jugraj Singh

This is the man who showed the world that Indian hockey had hope.This is the man who showed Indians how to score off penalty corners. This is the man who got smashed out of the sport by an unfortunate accident. Indian hockey has never been the same since his departure. He's back. We'll have to wait and see how he performs.

Not another tragic boxing story

Lennox Lewis was the greatest heavyweight of his generation - and, unlike Mike Tyson, whom he demolished in the ring, he got out with his reputation intact. In New York, he speaks exclusively to Thomas Hauser, America's leading boxing writer, about his toughest fights, the sport's decline, his new family - and his first big movie role. Enjoy.

The way the Guardian sees it

Unaccustomed to defending: "Mario and Steve's new self-help book didn't go down too well with the Birmingham board," reckons Neil Kavanagh, who appears to have broken poor Brucey's neck in a bid to get his bonce into that hat.

Why Indians are good at shooting

We'll never be good at power sports. We'll never be good at most sport. But we are good at shooting. And no, let's do away with all the myth-loaded hokum about how we are meant to be because we're descendants of the great archer Arjun and stuff. Let's just turn to my dear, dear friend Rohit Brijnath writing for Sportstar to tell us why. Depressing stuff. Enjoy.

With love from Prem

Picked this up, among the many things I have picked up from the legendary Prem P of rediff.com, on one of my numerous trips around the world wide web. Good stuff.

It is nice that in this team, even the junior players have been empowered to, and have the confidence to, speak for the team, to put their joys and hopes and dreams and heartbreaks on record.

Vide Mahendra Singh Dhoni's comments on the need for fans to stand up and be counted when the going is not so good.

I am frankly no fan of our developing culture, where even in victory, it has become a parlor game of sorts to find things to slam; to see the cup perenially as half empty, never half full.

One for instance: Comments, both in email and on the comments section of this blog, suggest it is a 'shame' that Harbhajan Singh top-scored in the first ODI, and that it was the bowlers who bailed the team out with the bat -- a point that has been used to excoriate the batsmen.

Granted this -- the batting, especially the shot selection, was pretty ordinary; collectively, the batting did not show the nous to change tack, to throttle back once it had sussed out that the Kotla was a 250, not 300-plus, pitch, and to alter the game plan accordingly.

That would be critical analysis, and it would be brilliant to see more of it in the feedback sections of the media; 'the batsmen suck, tell them all to go home' isn't.

Since when did cricket become a game where our batsmen all score centuries and our bowlers all take five wickets in an innings while the opposition bowlers give away runs and opposition batsmen gift wickets?

At least part of the reason for India's collapse had to be the wicket, which wasn't the best batting track we've seen, and the discipline and ability of England's bowling lineup, which especially early on when everything was going for them, bowled the absolutely right lines and put the batting under tremendous pressure -- so how does that mesh with 'the batsmen suck'?

It could be this flighty, instantly dismissive attitude that Dhoni is talking about -- but against that, Dhoni and his mates in the Indian side also need to be aware of how the fans see it.

All the statistics were against India chasing the required runs on the fifth day at the Wankhede; history was against it; the odds-makers didn't think much of the chances. And yet, if Dhoni had cared to look, and to listen, he would have found that even on that fifth day, with their team in what pundits said was a hopeless position, the fans blew away work, and turned up in their numbers.

They came because they believed in the team; they believed that it had the potential to create history, not be slave to it; they believed the team had the talent to do them proud; they believed that for their team, in home conditions with their backing, nothing was impossible.

And so they came, in their numbers, to see the impossible being made possible.

And they got what? About as uncaring a display of batting as you never want to see again -- led, ironically, by Dhoni himself. Remember that one shocking over? Where he aimed the sort of hit at an ordinary spinner that would have been discouraged even at schoolboy level, saw the fielder drop a sitter, and two deliveries later, hit the same spinner in the same stupid fashion to the same fielder?

Given that, what 'support' could the fans possibly have given the keeper-batsman, and his mates? It was not that India on that day was bowled out by brilliance; it was that they seemed to collectively shrug and go ah, the hell with it, not worth our while. It was, as the captain said, a collective abdication of reason.

And it was unfair on those fans who turned up in their numbers, and who cheered every leg bye, every no ball, every edge that went through for singles... fans who came hoping their team would fight -- not win, just fight -- and were disappointed with the callous capitulation.

So maybe Dhoni and his mates need to realize that Indian fans by and large are more patient, more forgiving, more tolerant than most. That they have stood by this team through long years, decades even, of ordinary performances, without giving up hope, without losing the faith. And they continue to stand by the team -- so maybe it is time for the team to repay that faith, that hope?

Maybe if Dhoni had, instead of finding fault with the fans, put out a statement saying he feels sorry, personally, for that act of total idiocy on the fifth day, the cheers for him would have been even louder the next time he walked out to bat?

In a word, mate -- fan support is not alms you get by begging for it; it is a gift you get for being who you are, and doing your thing with heart, and attitude.

Jealousy?

"Nothing between the ears", "They earn more in a week than I do in a year", "They think they're better than everyone else", "Cap their wages", "They make me sick", "It's all totally wrong - my son gets 25k a year to protect people in Iraq and look at these morons". Just some of the things people in England are saying about their soccer players. Also, just some of the things we like to say about our cricketers. Also, also, just some of the things people who don't have what these 'Stars' have are likely to say about the people they have turned into stars. Yes, our 'Stars' make too much money. But then, so do politicians. So do businessman. So do people in top-management. So does my boss. And so does every extraordinarily successful person; be it in sport or anywhere else. So what? Isn't that what we all aspire to make? Easy money. It's what makes the people who manage to make all these 'disgust-inducing' people 'Stars'. It's also what we make them. More on the matter.

Third-eye speak...

Apparently, Nimbus, the people who've been given the rights to cover, and uncover, everything to do with Indian cricket for the next five hundred years, now have the rights to train their slo-mo crazed cameras on the players two hours earlier than the start of every day's play. Nimbus, of course, say they will not cover anything private or juiceworthy that might embarrass the players concerned. Which only makes Third-eye wonder what the point of the whole exercise might be? After all, if we aren't going to see our players caught in compromising positions, if we're not going to see what we're not normally used to seeing, if we're not going to be given everything but pure sport to keep us glued to what is, essentially and sadly, just sport, why in God's name should we be interested? You see, in this day and age of lifestyle-meets-sport, we're really only interested in lifestyle matters. So if Nimbus has any sense and hopes to recover some of the gazillions they've shelled out to the BCCI, they'll make sure that they're roving eyes will capture a quarrel or two, a shoe being flung across the room or two and maybe even a wardrobe malfunction or three. (Now, that's something Third-eye will be most eagerly looking forward to.)

Freddie's Ring of Fire causes first-degree burns

More years ago than it is prudent to mention I had a student flat on the ground floor of a terraced house in Manchester's Withington and next door lived a beautiful smouldering-eyed girl called Gina who liked her music. The walls between our two houses were thinner than the Times cricket correspondent after his recent E coli poisoning and that meant, in the absence of anything else, this was one passion I could share with her. More from my dear, dear friend Mike Selvey. (Yep, the man who thought for a week, at least, that he was more important than Dubya!)

What is this?

While I grew up with Team India being all about batting - Gavaskar, Shastri, Azhar, Tendulkar, Dravid, and Ganguly - I never thought I'd see the bowling pick up. Then we had a short spell of batting and bowling and as a bonus FIELDING... with Kaif and Yuvy being new additions. Off late... it seems we are going back to being a "one thing at a time" team... Bowling! What is wrong with our batting line-up? OK - let's exclude Dravid and the bowlers from our batting debate...

Sachin...destroy the mantle!

I said this on air today...but the last series between india & england proved that sachin is truly mortal! And thats absolutely fine with me. Sure he's injured and maybe out of form...but some of his wickets were just given away. Don't get me wrong, I love sachin and always will as an indian...but let's just look at him for who he is!! No boo-ing!! No puja-ing!!! Just encouraging him as an indian representative...as a cricketer....as a fellow human being! Don't you think its time we take the mantle of 'GOD' and destroy it?!

Brazil

Now...i don't know why i have soft spot for Brazil but it sure helps that they have such great sporting teams & personalities!!! From the football geniuses of Pele to Ronaldinho...to F1 bright spots like Felipe Massa... I would absolutely love to see someday Brazil in cricket. Though i'd never give up my love for India in cricket...i would absolutely love to see what kind of flair Brazil would bring to the game!!
Can you just imagine samba cricket?!...now thats what i call entertaining

Hairstyles in cricket

From the groomed beard of W.G Grace to the
skunk look of Pietersen, there has always been a "hairy" personality in the world of cricket.Are the tea drinking purist dismayed at the evolution of cricketer's hairstyles?Hit me people....

Futuristic Arsenal get their concoction right

It was a dry spell for Arsenal in the English Premier League as they zoomed into the Champions League. Bagging a victory against Real Madrid and then holding them off for a draw seemed to raise the spirit of the young Gunners. And now even their EPL form seem to be on a high as they challenge Tottenham Hotspur for the fourth spot. It is thus viable to ask have Arsene Wenger’s boys finally got their concoction right? Have they finally gotten over Vieira’s move to Juventes? Are the Gunners finally moving away from being Henry-centric to a team that is capable of winning?

The current Arsenal squad is a blend of youth as well as experience. The earliest signing on the squad was made in 1995 when Dennis Bergkamp was signed in and the most recent signing was that of Emmanuel Adebayor, a forward, in 2006. The youngest players are Francesc Fabregas and Alexandre Song Billong who are 18-years-old and the oldest players are of course Dennis Bergkamp and Jens Lehman who are 36-years-old.

What is interesting to note is Arsene Wenger’s thought process – he has made at least one new signing every year since 1998. In 1998 Fredrik Ljunberg was roped in, in 1999 Thierry Henry, in 2000 we found a midfielder in Robert Pires, and in 2001 defender Sol Campbell made his appearance for Arsenal. Moving on, 2002 was Kolo Toure’s debut for the Gunners, 2003 saw Jens Lehmann (a blessing) and Philippe Senderos, 2004 added a forward and a midfielder to the concoction with Robin van Persie and Mathieu Flamini. In 2005 Wenger included three new signings with Aleksander Hleb, Alexander Song Billong and Emmanuel Eboue. While 2006, saw the promising Adebayor as the fresh face of the year.

As much as Arsenal fans and football fans in general love watching Henry at his best, the recent Charlton defeat was by far the most promising EPL game as Pires, Adebayor and Helb scored - putting up a 3-0 victory. It takes the tension off speculation that Henry might be on his way to Barcelona. As horrible as that would be, at least Arsenal fans know that “we will survive.”

I do believe this is a promising Arsenal side. The drop in form during the tee off this season was largely due to Vieira’s exit and all the new signings. Focusing on one league was probably the only way of some silverware hope this season. However, Arsenal have finally gotten their concoction right and managed to find their ground in this squad.

This season the Champions League, next season the English Premier League? I guess we will have to wait and see…

Sachin's Chagrin

After being on sabbatical for a bit, James Anderson made his comeback felt at the Wankhede Stadium, Mumbai. He answered his nation's call, the occasion was the third and final test of the much anticipated Engalnd's tour of India.

For Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar it was another day in the park. Another test series, another bowling attack to scalp? Not this time around. The God faced so much difficulty in putting wood and leather together, it was horrifying.

After nudging a few deliveries here, and more there, Sachin went fishing. He nudged at a luscious delivery bowled by Anderson, and helped the ball rest in utter peace in the hands of Jones, the wicketkeeper.

Amidst boos and jeers the enigma walked back into the dressing room. The same man who has humbled many-a fast talking cricketers - walked back, head-down, bat tucked under his arm. Looking defeated and weary, Sachin resembled an old lion. One of those felines who now and then assist the rest in the hunting by smacking the almost dead deer with a feeble blow.

I am no authority on cricket and/or wildlife; however I am a fine judge of all things alive and kicking, a huge fan of SR Tendulkar, cricket and of course, the wildlife. I definitely do not see alive or kicking for that matter in SR Tendulkar.

As I am writing this images of Warne scratching his head in Sharjah, Shoaib breaking down in South Africa, Allan Donald with hands on hips looking disgruntled, Wasim Akram shaking his head in dismay come to mind. All these reactions to these bowling greats being humbled by Tendulkar.

The legend, like many in cricket, will go on. This is when questions arise, questions that can be answered by us, the selectors, Sachin’s workmates. But then will he himself answer them?

Is this the end? Should Sachin retire? Will he be forced to step down a la SG?

Of Cricket And Then Some

As the youngster drives the ball over the bowler's head, I stood there thinking, "How many more maestros are we (read: India) going to create? How many more class acts are we going to give birth to?" The answer is probably a smirk or a shrug that reeks of pessimism. However, I am pretty darn sure we are going to deploying many-a balls towards and over the boundaries of the world.

Crunching Numbers

10-0-113-0, 434,438,500,175,164,600. It's been a week for batsmen, statisticians and spinners. The bowlers, especially the Aussie and Protea kind, are probably pitching in to get a bowling machine and save themselves the agony.

Yes, we know both captains and certainly most of the players called the Sunday runbath "the greatest game ever"; something in which they were proud to have played a part. I, on the other hand find it hard to imagine a day, when Mick Lewis, grandchild on his lap, will lounge in front of a cackling fire and relate, misty eyed, the story of how he bowled the worst one day spell in history. My sympathies. The entire match, on the other hand, was a treat of nuclear proportions. Sadistic domination by Ponting, Gibbs, Smith and Hussey, grafting by Katich, late onslaughts by Van Der Wath and Symonds and the icing on the cherry by Mark Boucher. The ground might have been small but the memories loom large.

Closer to home, India beat the Brits rather convincingly in a truncated test match. Munaf might have hauled 7 on debut but the match belonged to that glorious monarch (not servant) of India cricket, Anil Kumble. In Bangalore, the old joke goes that when you're passing through Kumble circle on MG Road, you have to go straight on, even if your indicator proves otherwise. If bowling straight gets you 500 test wickets, please tell me where I can sign up. A deep bow of gratitude from a humble fan of cricket.

Due East of Mohali, a different ilk of spinner operated his way to the 600 mark. Bangladesh (although spirited) might not be the best place for a 600th wicket tour but the smiling assassin will take it, eyes aglint and googling. The race is on with Warny and we get to watch it in our lifetime. Lucky huh?

So while statisticians crunch their numbers and record books are rewritten, all us cricket fanatics can catch a wink of sleep before the Aus/SA, Ind/Eng battles capture our imaginations and fuel our dreams.
(Cartoon by Dundee)

Lagi Bet # 1

The Maha Punter from Madras decrees that the Mumbai match will be a draw. And India will win the England series 1-0. Lagi bet?