Frank Dampard

What has happened to Frank Lampard? It has been impossible to sit down at any dinner table in any World Cup city without hazarding that question. Salt and pepper pots have been rearranged to recreate tactical manoeuvres and analyse what has gone wrong, yet still no one knows the answer for certain. What has happened to the man who was runner-up to Ronaldinho for Fifa's world footballer of the year? Why is the World Cup witnessing the West Ham United player of old rather than the Chelsea player of new? Too much beer? German prostitutes? You tell us.