Tit byte

A word of advice if you're planning to watch football in Italy: buy a TV. Not just because Italian highlights shows are fronted by buxom sirens who make Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson look like smug civil servants coining it in for tickling each other's egos and peddling puns that only wastards and bankers find amusing. But also because actually going to a game could result in you being beaten up, set on fire, hurled from the top tier of a bloody big stadium or turned inside out and pushed like a human rolling pin over tracts of broken glass. Because many Italian football followers are, like illiterate Nigel Kennedy fans, into violence