Isabgol to promote Harmison

In a revolutionary twist to the whole sponsorship game that the now bismirched game of cricket is run by, a brand has taken it upon itself to promote a player. From time unmemorable, it's players that have been falling over each other to promote brands, but now there's a brand that has decided to look at the commercialisation angle differently. In an unnecessary aside, our Marketing Norrespondent, has vowed to write an anemic paper on the said matter, which we promise not to bring to you.

Due to a variety of very understandable reasons, the brand Isabgol has found it very hard to find people to sponsor it. In this day and age of celebrity everything, without a celebrity to promote this hallowed brand, the brand was in danger of disappearing. As is often the case with brands in India that are in danger of disappearing, they turn to cricket. After hunting high and low, unsuccessfully, for a spokesperson to promote them, the people from the House of Isabgol decided to take matters into their own hands and find players to promote. The first person they thought would fit their minuscule bill was Harmison Steve.

The English fast bowler, Harmison Steve has always been an enigmatic player with an interesting personality. Commercialspeak will tell you that any enigmatic player with an interesting personality is a good person to promote for public memory. In addition to his bouts of enigmata and personality disorders, Harmison also possesses a very important quality that fits into the brand image of Isabgol's target audience. Time and again, it has been noted that Harmison Steve tries too hard. And every time Harmison Steve tries too hard, he ends up with a bad day.

Pointless research will confirm the very well known fact that when individuals start their day by having to try too hard, they, almost always, end up having a bad day. For the House of Isabgol, the unique synergies of this important shattribute segued in perfectly with the desired response from the one-line brief. What this piece of crap means is utterly unclear, but the House of Isabgol urges readers not to try too hard to make sense of this. In case they feel compelled to try too hard, the House of Isabgol has the perfect solution of a tastless kind just for them.

Unveiling the plan for Harmison Steve at a press conference held in the 5-star environs of the fragrant toilet of the Taj Intercontinental, the General Manager of the House of Isabgol, E. C. Squeezie said that the key component of Isabgol's plan for Harmison Steve would be to buy up the first 5 minutes of every time Harmison Steve starts his morning spell. During this crucial period, the audience would be bombarded with targetted messages on the disastrous results of trying too hard, alongwith commodiously timed solutions for the same.

Despite our strenuous opposition to any outside interference, our Marketing Norrespondent insists on adding that the anti-tactic of promoting a player and not having a player promote a brand is sure to garner the brand exponential returns. We think he is trying too hard and urge him to, instead, try Isabgol. We do not think the House of Isabgol will try him because he isn't much of a cricket player. Had been even half a cricket player of any kind, we're sure many a brand would have tried him. Unfortunately, the gent is so bad at cricket, all he is left with is trying very hard to make his presence felt in any way possible in the world of cricket. Like in this serious report.

As any good journalistic report must do, we shall give you a quick backgrounder on the House of Isabgol. On second thoughts, and in keeping with the spirit of the report, we shall not try too hard to make our point. In this day and age of the Internet, we do not believe a newspaper needs to report everything. In fact, we're convinced a newspaper doesn't have to say anything at all. In passing through the motions of this report, we tried contacting the Harmison Steve for his views on the matter. Unfortunately, the said gent was incommunicado. Inside sources tell us he was comfortably ensconsed on the throne and not trying hard. Bless the House of Isabgol and their revolutionary ways.

In the days to come we shall bring you more on the other players the House of Isabgol are thinking of promoting. In case you have any ideas on the matter, we urge you to contact our Marketing Norrespondent. We assure you that the said gent will try very, very hard to respond to all your queries.