Sourav Ganguly tries Pepsi

After the continuing wave of outsourcing which refuses to see any after, another wave seems to have hit India: The Trying Wave. In keeping with the spirit of the times, this report is dedicated to a truly trying gent who has decided to try yet another thing to try and make a comeback to the team that found him too trying to have in their midst. We're, of course, trying very hard to speak of the erstwhile skipper of the Indian cricket team without mentioning him. (Although we're not quite sure what purpose that serves after having mentioned him in the headline of this trying report.)

For those of you who believe in the very con current 'out of sight out of mind principle' and are trying very, very hard to figure out who the said gent might be? We are unspeakably speaking of the man who was once the impossibly trichotomous Dada, Maharajah and Prince of Indian cricket, Sourav 'Bunguly'. Confirmed reports say, he is now known as the man who lost his shirt and is as relevant as a Dadaji in an upwardly mobile Indian nuclear family.

After trying to make a return to the Indian team that was formerly known as his, as a bowler, an all-rounder, a stubborn gounder and an opening flounder, Sourav is now trying to make a comeback into our quickly closed minds as a smarmy reminder of the days gone bye-bye in an ad for Pepsi; yes, the same Pepsi that tom-toms itself as the blue in the Indian cricket team till it makes everyone go blue in the face with disgust. And pepsicides.

In an ad that is sure to make Greg Chappell MBE try very hard not to laugh, the old Sourav tries to forget how old he is and say a host of sentimental things that he hopes will appeal to the oldest trick in the book used to appeal to Indian audiences: Sentimentality. Unfortunately, Sourav seems to have forgotten that the only ruse to get back into the Indian team - sucking up to the people in power - is no longer within his reach, no matter how hard he tries.

The smart set among us knows what the unethical 'blue' multinational is trying. After trying to make Indians forget all the crap they have been making us swallow in their drinks by throwing in an Indian CEO, they're now trying to throw an Ex-CEO into their mix of pepsicide, exploitation and sugar. All we can say in response to such tried and tested moves is what the great Poet Tryku Srinivasan liked to say when faced with anything, "Try not me. Fed up we. Of your trying."

For the sake of making this report more entertaining, only, we located Kapil Dev for his views on the above matter. Predictably enough, the great howler was more than willing to try his hand at solving yet another person's problems. As usual, not much more need be said after what Kapil says. He said, "Sourav, forget Pepsi. Forget Coke. Whatever you do, don't try pasta. Try Rasagulla. It's sure to leave a sweet taste in your mouth. Unlike Pepsi."