PCB recalls whole Indian team

The Strategy Committee for Dummy Purposes, henceforth referred to as SCDP, has, in an Extraordinary General Nobody Meeting held for the generation of extraordinarily ordinary ideas to improve the lot of Pakistani Cricket, decided to recall the 17 of the 15 players sent for the Champions Trophy tournament in India. Hmm.

As you may have noticed, we ended the previous paragraph with a 'hmm'. Hmm. This extraordinary note in citizen journalism was inserted because we were struck by the extraordinary nature of the request from the SCDP. (Not to mention, the profusion of commas.) As investigative journalists for ordinary citizens, we are known for our eagle-eyes and hawkish stances on such matters.

The point we're taking an extraordinary long time to get to is what exactly is the SCDP of the PCB asking for? We put our heads together in a rugby scrum and tried to re-read the faxed request in the resultant darkness so that we may, together, be able to throw some light on the enigmatic request. Hmm.

Evidently, an additional note of citizen journalism had to be inserted because we were unable to unearth any hidden codes or clues with respect to the extra players the SCDP of the PCB has asked to be recalled from the on-going tamasha tournament in India. On further thought, and after further inputs from other citizen journalists with nothing better to do, we decided what the SCDP of the PCB may be asking for is some dummy players. Hmm.

His Highness Hmm would like to add that the underlying strategy of this dummy move is to lull the other teams into a sense of complacency and rekindle the old disease of winnigness that the Pakistani Cricket Team of Dummies only seems to be hit by when their most key players are struck down by some crisis or the other.

This proactive point of extraordinary activity worthy of great managerial promotion put forward by His Highness Hmm has been duly noted and squirelled away for no further thought. Instead, we decided to contact the Captain of the Pakistani Cricket Team for his views on the request from the SCDP of the PCB.

We apologise profusely for that red herring. It has been possibly learnt that the Captain of the Pakistani Cricket Team has resigned, again and again. His mouthpiece has told us that the hardly respected Captain of the Pakistani Cricket Team is not done with his resignations. In fact, the next two replacements have also resigned in advance before thay can be appointed and dismissed, immediately.

If you're a betting man, we urge you to place your bets on Pakistan as surefire winners of this tournament. As people who are intimately aware of the workings of the SCDP, the PCB, the past, the future and everything to do with Pakistani cricket, we're very sure that these hare-brained moves will only result in the Pakistanis performing out of their skin in the matches to follow.

Incidentally, the two extra players ordered back to Pakistan by the SCDP of the PCB have been identified. They were experimental players employed by the Dummy Coach Greg Chappell MBE in the Indian Team. As usual, the experiments didn't come off. All future supplies of pasta for the Indians have been cancelled until further notice.

Don't worry, we're not about to and promise never to bring you Mandu 'Doesn't' Materazzi's or Howler Dev's views on this or any other matters. On second thoughts, we're sure Howler Dev will be back for entertainment purposes. Only. Thank God. And thank you.

PS for please script: Please note, that was a dummy headline sent to us by a dummy citizen journalist meant to attract your attention to this dummy report masterminded by the SCDP of the PCB for the dummy Pakistani Team. Hmm for dummies.